Friends of HKS: Guest Blogger Series

Lindsey is Toronto native, brought to the beautiful city of Rio of Janeiro by love, at least initially. She has been living there for the past 2 years and blogs about everything that living in a foreign culture can offer.  From language difficulty, to trying to make friends, to 'where will we start our family' she tries to find happiness 

(while complaining as little as possible!)

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 So, this weekend, I finally got around to watching this movie called The Help.  If you live anywhere other than Brazil, you're probably pretty familiar with it.  On the other hand, residents of Brazil heard about it by word of mouth because, for some reason, it didn't make it to Brazil.

After watching I think I may know the reason.

Because it IS Brazil!  Present day Brazil, I might add!  And surely, by showing a movie whose main point is to emphasize the crazy ridiculousness of racism in 1960's Southern USA, people will start to scratch their heads and reflect on their own Brazilian culture and think 'Waaaaait a minute....' or 'Hey, isn't that my life?!  That doesn't seem right!'

Or worse, and more likely still, they won't do anything at all.

Brazil has this weird idea that there is no racism here.  It goes way back into the roots, when the Portuguese came to Brazil to colonize, bringing slaves from Africa with them.  Obviously (!) someone wanted to get frisky (hint: it probably wasn't a slave) and the next thing you know, Brazil is a mixed culture of African and Portuguese, and more recently German, Japanese and Italian. 

My point here is that although yes, Brazil is a mix of the above cultures, there is a whoooooooole lot of racism. 

First of all, most people call their housekeepers 'Maids'.  The word for Maid in Portuguese is empregada which actually technically means The Employed.  ('The Help' anyone?)  Second, you don't even have to guess what the background of your 'Empregada' will be before meeting her (always 'her').  She will 100% be of Afro Brazilian heritage.  I would bet money on that.

Without going into a ton of detail, I'll just make it very clear that the poorest of people in Brazil are generally black and are definitely put into categories of lower class citizens.  The Portuguese word for black person is Negro while Caucasians are of course called 'white'.  Plus, I have personally heard on several occasions, citizens of the Upper Class call citizens of the Low Class "pessoas feias" (ugly people).  It's a head shaker.

The whole point of writing this was to explain why I've had such a difficult time accepting this culture of having Houskeepers.  Probably about 90% of Brazilians have a housekeeper.  Hell, the housekeepers probably have housekeepers.  It's just the way of the culture.  But after 2 years of trying to push away from that, I have finally given in.  I've finally thrown in the towel and asked for help (because I really need it!)

But now comes the new challenge of how to appropriately interact with my empregada.  There are certain rules, certain expectations, and they go both ways.  Generally you are expected to cook for your empregada, but ironically I don't think she eats with the employer...?  I feel super uncomfortable with this.

Also, you need to have a list ready for the empregada to do (ie laundry, ironing, cooking/prepping vegetables, cleaning).  These ladies do it all.

Also, how much do I pay her?  More than she asks out of compassion?  The average is between R$60 and R$100 Reais* per day ie. NOTHING.  I'm so new at this! 

The problem is there is a real fine line between the Employer and the Employed - and some people take it really far.  Some people insist that their maid call them senhora (ma'am) at all times.  Some demand very particular care to their delicate clothing items.  Some have a menu ready for their maids to cook up.  I feel guilty just knowing that some people are like that!

Me?  I just want a clean house!  I work a lot and so does my husband and I just want a little help keeping my place tidy.  I'm not honestly sure if I'll ever be comfortable with the idea of someone working in my house, cleaning up my mess.  Argh social conflict.  

Am I alone?  Does anyone else have the same opinion about having someone come to help out in the house?  I have a feeling it's a North-American condition,that we feel a strong responsibility to take care of ourselves, without help from others.  Maybe I'm the one with the problem.  Maybe I need to let go of my predispositions!  

So tomorrow is the big day... Our new empregada will come and I'll be exposed to another element of cultural difference in Brazil (there are so so many...)  What seems like such a simple moment is really testing my Canadian character! 

Wish me luck and stay tuned for the finale..... 

*(equal to about $30-$50 CAD and consider that the cost of living here is MUCH higher)

All the best!

Linds

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You can read more about Lindsay and her life in Brazil over on her Blog. 

Lindsay's Blog!