Much too much

From the country...

We have had some long, trying days here on the farm and evenings were we have turned to each other and asked "Will it ever end?". Nights when I wanted to cry along side the baby. Days that have been filled with challenges- so many responsibilities pushing and pulling us in so many different directions. We have 3 children, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a barn full of chickens, chicks, turkeys, and ducks, an old farm house, greenhouses, fields to tend to, and markets to get ready for all in a strict timeline to be able to make a living . This week we had to attend to these everyday tasks with one slight twist- no electricity. A sudden storm left us with no electricity for nearly three days.

So on top of all our regular duties we had a generator to borrow and hook up so we could keep the incubator running, the chicks warm and the meat in the freezers from thawing. We had to drive around to friends and neighbours to beg, steal and borrow water so we could wash our dishes, water our livestock and flush our toilet. We pulled buckets out of our well so we could wash our produce and get it ready for market.

I have people comment on how idyllic our lives must be to be with our children, close to the land, growing food. It is a lifestyle and one that I am proud to own but sometimes I wring my dirt stained hands in pure exhaustion. Would I change this life? No, but I would add a few more hours to the day or make time stand still so I could take a nap and not feel guilty.

I love our life, I really do but sometimes it all feels like much too much. Maybe a just need a better perspective. Maybe I should think about the Victorian times, when all there was was tasks and chores in order to survive. Maybe I don't really even know true hard work.

I do know one thing though, I am dog tired tonight.